Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
