no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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