Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
this boner is exhausting
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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