Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My pussy is not your playground.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You made out with two different species that night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
