yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
