there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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