i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
