Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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