Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
