Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
