she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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