So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
