the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
