Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
