Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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