omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
