We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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