My sheets look like a crime scene.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We left the knife in your bed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
