those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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