thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
