so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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