She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
