I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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