I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize