Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
