there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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