hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He did a backflip because drugs
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