hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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