How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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