you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
