when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
