my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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