At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
