The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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