I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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