I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
