fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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