Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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