I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
