I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
