Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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