3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
