i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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