you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize