a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
