He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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