No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize