i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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