he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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