I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
