It's just like the Real World with babies
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
