I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize