Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
