I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
