And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All I want is dick and wine.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
