3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
