the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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