i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
