thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
