Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
