Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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