I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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