can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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