matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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