My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize