So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
